Frequently Asked Questions about the Burlington-Edison High School Library
thoughtfully answered by your Library Lady, Ms. Belben
Updated June 2007

People come to libraries to get answers...which means they have to ask some questions. As I always say, "There are no stupid questions."  Here are the questions we get asked most frequently in the BEHS Library. I've done my best to answer them with being too smart-alecky.

Q: Do you have any Kleenex?
Yes and no. From September to February, we're set. Then cold season hits, and every drippy-nosed person in the school stops by here for tissue, and pretty soon, I'm picking little wads of used Kleenex off every surface in the library and washing my hands 57 times a day, but then I end up getting a cold anyway because people forget to sneeze into their arms and get germs all over the books and computers and I have to go lay my head down in my office. Boy, I'm glad it's almost summer.

Q: Where is Mrs. Fiker?
Mrs. Fiker, the highly skilled and delightfully helpful career specialist, maintains the career center located next door to the library. Occasionally she steps out of her space to attend to other business around the school. When she does this, we don't know where she is. We are secure in our belief that she has not run away to join the circus and that she is not hiding from you. We are confident that she will return.  So if you ask us, on a day when her lights are on and her door is open but she is not in her room, "Where's Mrs. Fiker?" we will not be able to do anything but stare at you blankly, shrug our shoulders, and suggest that you return in a few minutes. If her door is closed and locked and the lights are off, chances are that she is a) absent or b) out of the building temporarily. Again, we don't know where she is, and really, does it matter? Are you going to track her down and ask her for scholarship applications or job shadow referrals or a new PAWS binder while she's out eating lunch at Red Robin or attending a conference in Tacoma? I didn't think so.

Q: What on earth is the "Vanbulance"?
The Vanbulance is Ms. Belben's award-winning and highly enviable VW camper van, known for providing shelter to teachers during fire drills (o.k., just once), housing for her dog, Kosha, and a safe vehicle for carpooling to and from Bellingham. Occasionally spotted at local campgrounds, the Vanbulance (formal name:  Vivian) houses an impressive traveling library and provides Ms. B. with an awesome on-the-road reading and napping forum.

Q: What does "PC Load Letter" Mean?
A: Have you ever seen the movie Office Space, where they beat the printer to death in a field, and they're screaming "PC LOAD LETTER!" at it? That's how I feel when I get asked this question--which is about 8 times a day.  PC LOAD LETTER is a message on our library's decrepit old printer that is telling users they need to load letter-sized paper. 

Q: Why would anyone want to be a librarian?
Well, mainly because I get all the free reading material I could wish for, but also because it's super-interesting. Every day someone needs help finding different information, so I'm always learning new stuff. Also, since every student in the school visits the library at one time or another, I get to know more students than I would if I taught, say, Intermediate Brazilian Sky-diving,

Q: Have you read all the books in this library?
A: Yes.
No, just kidding. I read about 200 books a year, many of which are a part of this library. But I also read a lot of personal interest stuff (books about weightlifting, for example) that doesn't really fit our collection.  I try to read as much as I can so I can recommend good reading material to students. Here are reviews of many of the books I've read.

Q: Where are the science fiction books?
A: Since this isn't a book store, I file all the fiction together, instead of according to category. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. The best way to find science fiction (or any other specific type of fiction) is to use OPAC or get a list of recommended books from the librarian. You can access OPAC by logging into a library computer, double-clicking on the OPAC icon on the desktop, and then typing in "science fiction" in the search bar, and clicking "SUBJECT."

Q: Why won't you help me find a 400 page book for my book report?
A: Here's the deal with book reports and page requirements:

  1. Just like I think you should date people based on their personalities and not how tall/fat/skinny/pretty they are, I think you should choose books according to what interests you, not how long they are.
  2. I think it's easier to read a few short books that you really, really like than one long, boring book just to get the pages done.
  3. If all you really want is a long book, you don't need me to help you find one--just walk around and look at the books--you'll find one with 400 pages eventually.
  4. With that said, I've read thousands of books in my life, and some of my personal favorites happen to be long books.  If you want to take my word for it, check out this list of books I've read that I really liked and are also really long.

Q: Why is there a filter on the Internet?
A: The filter is required by a federal law called CIPA, The Federal Children's Internet Protection Act, passed in April of 2001. CIPA legislation requires all public education facilities and public libraries install Internet Filtering to block material considered harmful to minors. The CIPA legislation HR4577 passed overwhelmingly with full bi-partisan support and was signed into law and has been defended at the United States Supreme Court level and is in full effect. Our filter, known familiarly as "Bess," was selected by the district technology staff and is a product from the N2H2 company.

Q: How does the library's security system work?
A: That's classified information. What I can tell you about the security system is this:

bulletIt can't tell who you are, which books you've checked out, or whether or not the book you've checked out is overdue. It's not that smart.
bulletBUT it can tell if you've lost your due date card or are using it as a bookmark.
bulletIt will also beep if you stick an unchecked out book in your bag or in the backpack of a friend as a joke. This is punishable behavior, and besides that, it's been done about a billion times, so don't be thinking you're all funny because you put a book about childbirth in your friend James's book bag.
bulletRepeatedly and purposely setting off the alarm will set off the librarians and they will punish you. Don't do it. It's bad.
bulletSame goes for walking through the security gate and making a beeping noise with your mouth. We hate this and we will get mean and cranky if you do it. Especially if you do it everyday.

Q:  Why can't I check out reference books?
A:  Our library, like most libraries, has a section of books that are for in-library-use only. There are several reasons for this.

  1. First, we want there to be a core collection of books with information about every topic available in the regular non-fiction section, so that if those books are checked out and unavailable, you can still get the information you need in the reference section.
  2. Secondly, the reference section contains books that belong in sets--to check out part of a set doesn't make sense (if one book of a set is lost, for example, the set is much less useful).
  3. Also, the reference section contains extremely big books that are hard to carry and easy to drop. When books like this fall, they tend be damaged, and repairing them is difficult, time-consuming, and sometimes expensive.
  4. The reference section contains expensive books. We don't want a student to be responsible for a lost book that will cost as much as $200 to replace--and you probably don't, either.

Q: Why do I need a pass to come to the library during class time?
A: The library is my classroom, and I'm responsible for the students in it. I like to know your name, in case I have to help you in an emergency or yell at you if you are bad. If I have a pass, I know your name.

Also, unless I have proof in the form of a written note from your teacher, I don't know for sure that your teacher knows you're here. Some students (not you, of course) come to the library when they are really supposed to be someplace else! Unbelievable, huh?!?

Q: Why do you charge fines for overdue books?
A: There are several reasons:

  1. The income generated by overdue fines helps us pay for books that are lost or damaged, and it helps us buy extra copies of books that are extremely popular but unavailable because they are checked out/overdue.
  2. Charging fines motivates folks to return books--if you know you're going to have pay the big bucks for a book if you hang on to it too long, maybe you'll be inspired to bring it back so other people can read it.
  3. In the Real World, libraries charge fines for overdue books. I want to prepare you for life beyond high school (you're welcome!) In fact, in the Real World, knowingly holding on to a library book (which is public property) is a civil offense! So you can thank me for not throwing you in the slammer--at least I'm just charging fines! Revised Code of Washington 27.12.340 Willfully retaining books -- Infraction.
    "It is a class 4 civil infraction for any person to willfully retain any book, newspaper, magazine, pamphlet, manuscript, or other property belonging in or to any public library, reading room, or other educational institution, for thirty days after notice in writing to return the same, given after the expiration of the time that by the rules of such institution such article or other property may be kept."